It's so Hard to Say Goodbye
by livin'4-Him
Summary: It's amazing what one person can do to you and when they are gone, how much it can change you. It's like you become a completely different person. I've lost someone and it has changed me greately. Are you curiouse yet? R&R RobStar pairing oneshot.


_HI!!__ Well, here's my second __fanfic.__ I hope you like it. The idea just started to come to me 'cause I was bored and had nothing to do, so well, here it goes._

_Oh yeah, this is all going to be in Starfire's POV._

_ENJOY!_

* * *

The death of a loved one. Have you ever experienced it? It is not a nice thing. It's full of sorrow and pain. Being from the kind of people I am from, it is a great surprise that I still even have my powers, considering the fact that pain and sadness destroys it, normally.

Do you know who I am? My name is Korinna Anders. I was formally known as Starfire, from Tameran.

Do you know the Teen Titans? They were such a good team. They were my family. The only family I had. Now I have no one. They're all gone. They've moved on with their lives. I wish I could do the same. But I can't, unfortunately. The more I try, the more I feel like a failure.

Would you like me to tell you my story? I must warn you, it is quite sad. I guess you probably already know that though. I'm not completely sure that I will be able to get though it all. I suppose I have nothing better to do and I have all the time in the world.

I shall start from the beginning, on the morning where our troubles began.

This morning that I speak of took place 6 years, 5 months, and 12 days ago (I can't help but keep exact count). My age was aproximately 15 years and 8 months.

* * *

I was with Robin, in our usual spot, living out our usual morning routine, watching the sun rise on the rooftop. 

"Good morning Robin! Isn't it simply glorious?!" I chirped happily as he sat down beside me.

Something was different though. He was sitting closer than normal, much much closer.

"Yes, it is. But not as much as you," he said calmly, stairing out at the remarkable veiw in front of us. I was speechless. _Was he doing the "flirting" with me?_ I thought to myself.

"Hey Star?"

"Hm?" his hand brushed against mine which sent shivers all over my body. I tried hard not to blush, but it was useless.

"I think it's time we talked about something," I stared at him blankly, though inside I had a prety good idea of what was coming. I felt like my stomach was doing flips, even though that was highly unlikely.

"I – you – really – pair – it–" he sighed heavily. Apparently his mouth was not functioning properly.

"Okay," he scratched the back of his neck and continued, "apparently talking isn't going to work, so I have a better idea." He started to get really close to my face as my heart began to race.

The alarm blazed slightly startling both of us and Raven, as if on cue, appeared behind us.

"Sorry to," she looked at both of us slightly smirking, "interrupt, but we sort of need to go stop Slade," she finished in her usual monotone voice. Robin jumped up instantly at Slade's name and darted away without another word said._ Great._ Moment ruined.

We got to where Slade was and the battle fury commenced. Slade kept us busy with a whole bunch of his Slade-bots.

I had one in my hand, ready to finish off, when I saw Robin run in the direction of a dark tunnel. I gave the robot one final blow and started to fly towards the tunnel I had seen Robin race into. I was stopped by Raven's hadnd on my shoulder.

"I'll go," was all she said and she too disappeared into the darkness of the, what seemed as, endless tunnel.

I was going to stay and finish fighting Slades annoying robots but curiosity got the best of me.

* * *

I kept flying in the dark, while trying to be as silent as possible. I came to an opening which I was about to go through, but since I heard voices inside, I thought it was best to stay unseen. I hid behind a wall and there was a small hole, just big enough to see though; what a coincidence.

I looked around, and the first thing I spotted was Slade, holding Raven up by the hood of her cloak. She was struggling to get loose, but was unsuccessful, slowly running out of air in the process. She had something on her hands; I'm guessing it was so she couldn't use her powers. Slade was also pointing a strange looking device at her head; it looked somewhat like a gun.

Then I spotted Robin; he looked frightened, which was unusual for him.

"Don't Slade. Don't do it. She has nothing to do with what you want." It was as if Robin was frozen in place, and he couldn't attack him even if he wanted to.

"Well then, do what I asked and I'll let her go unharmed."

Raven shook her head, telling him not to do it.

He looked back at Slade, "How can I be sure you will?"

"Oh my dear Robin, don't you trust me?"

Robin raised a masked brow and instinctively glanced at Raven now noticing she was unconscious, probably from the lack of air.

"You're going to kill her! Put her down!" he demanded.

"Not until you accept," Slade was just as cool and calm as ever.

Robin thought about it for a moment then…

"Fine, I'll be your apprentice. Just let her go." His voice was cracking, yet ever so serious. How he could make such decisions was beond me.

"Good boy."

"No!" I said in a soft whisper, "not again!"

Slade made Robin drink something which apparently made him weak and they headed for an elevator door. Raven opened her eyes and came to, realizing the situation, looking around frantically for Robin. Her eyes fixed on him, as well as mine, just in time to catch him mouth the words "sorry" and "goodbye." Theelevator doors closed and he was gone.

I ran over to Raven and helped her up.

"What just happened? Are you undamaged friend?" I asked Raven practically freaking out.

"I;m fine, but I'm not sure Robin will be. He's gone."

* * *

Three months passed by and we hadn't heard or seen from him. It was really hard for me and the rest of the team to go so long without our leader, but Raven and Cyborg assumed that role together. It was especially difficult for me. I was no longer my bubbly happy self anymore. I felt like nothing without him.

Everyone else was sure he was dead or at least that we were never going to see him again, but I didn't lose hope. I couldn't. It was the only thing keeping me here.

I cried myself to sleep every night and I unwillingly shed tears every morning on the roof. I couldn't stay away from it. It's the only spot where we always spent time together. The only spot where I felt I could keep my memories of him alive.

I guess I _was_ losing hope, and I came to realize that it was soon to run out completely.

* * *

The fourth month came and went, as slowly and painfully as possible. Now we began a new month, the fifth.

By this time I had completely lost hope. In the beginning I thought I had enough hope to last me years. I was constantly reassuring my team mates that he would come back but I guess it's just been too long.

* * *

I was on the roof one afternoon; this had recently become my usual thinking spot . It had now been 6 months and 21 days since he had become Slade's apprentice. I would have thought that by now Slade would have sent him out to do his dirty work which would mean he would have had to have confronted us, but he hasn't. It's like they both just disappeared off the face of the planet.

I jumped off my train of thoughts and soard up into the clouds. It was amazing I could still fly. I must have been much stronger than I thought.

I dropped my altitude a little bit, just enough so that I could see our well kept city. I glanced down at a dark alley and a quick shimer caught my eye. I flew lower and landed where I had seen it. There was someone standing there in a metal suit, with his back to me. I couldn't tell if the person was male or female, though.

"E – Excuse me," I said politely, trying not to startle him at the same time. I had determined he was a male based on his body structure.

I gasped as he turned around to face me. His face looked utterly familiar.

I felt a single tear stream gently down my face. I tried to talk but couldn't. He had a very surprised expression on his face. I saw him shake his head and a "no, it can't be" escaped his lips.

He quickly turned around and began to run away from me.

"Robin, wait!" I yelled as I ran after him. He didn't stop. He kept running and running and I kept following him. We ran down stairs, through dimly lighted tunnels, and into and out of doors. He finally stopped; I also stopped in front of the last door he had gone through. I heard someone shouting.

"What were you thinking apprentice?! You almost got caught!" _Slade _I thought to myself.

"You said she was dead. You said they all were! "

"I lied, but that's not important. You've probably lead her here. So much work and now it's been flushed down the drain by your carelessness. My plan won't work anymore, now that she knows the location of our hideout. At least, not without a lot of extra work. Congratulations, you've earned yourself some overtime."

"I will not work for you anymore, Slade. I won't help you with your precious plan. You're over."

"Oh really? Well we'll just have to change that won't we? Bring her in." All of the sudden something grabbed me from behind and dropped me in front of Slade. As soon as I got to my feet he lifted me up by my neck and slammed me against the wall. He wouldn't let go and I was choking.

"NO! Put her down!"

"Very well," he said and threw me against another wall across the room. I was in a lot of pain and almost unconscious but I could still hear what was going on.

Robin yelled with anger and he started to beat Slade up. Suddenly, everything was silent. I managed to open my eyes and saw Robin sitting on top of Slade's body. Slade wasn't moving and he looked as though he were dead.

"I – I killed him Star. I'm free, I'm finally free. I can't believe it," he told me with no expression on his face whatsoever. He got up, walked over to me and put his hand in mine. He said absolutely nothing as he led me to the door. As we were about to walk out it slammed shut.

"No," Robin said under his breath. We both turned around and Slade was still lying on the ground.

"How?" I asked as I looked around.

"Oh Robin. You will never learn, will you?" He emerged out of the shadows and chuckled a small chuckle that dripped with evilness. "You actually thought it would be that easy to defeat me?"

"But – But how?" Robin muttered, obviousely very confused.

"Robots Robin. Did you forget I am the greatest mastermind that has ever existed? You don't even know half what I'm capable of." He chuckled again with his spine-shivering laugh.

He walked over to us and I felt Robin flinch. There was nowhere to go. We were trapped. As Slade approached, he shoved me out of the way making me stumble to the ground. I saw the same strange device in his had that he had pointed at Raven before.

"Robin look–" it was too late. He had already shot him strait in the heart. Robin fell to the ground and I felt so angry that I just lost it. I started throwing starblots his way but he dodged them all with ease and sunk into the ground. I kept waiting for him to reappear somewhere but he didn't. I put my guard down and heard "Ta-ta," which made me flinch but for some reason I knew he wasn't coming back.

I ran to Robin's side and kneeled down beside him.

"Robin," I said softly, finally losing control of my emotions and sobbing freely.

"S—Star," he gave me a warm, yet painful smile, "it's nice to see you again. I'm glad you're alive and well. I hope it hasn't been too tough on you lately. I really missed you, you know.

I would have fought to get away if I would have known you were still alive, I'm sorry. Tell the others this also, please.

Star I don't want to go." It was hard to talk because I was crying so much, but I managed to choke out a few sentences.

"No, don't go! You can't leave me. I need you." It was getting easier to talk so I tried to finish. "Robin, I won't survive without you." He cut me off.

"No Star, don't say that. Of course you will. Promise me you'll at least try. Promise me you'll stay strong. I—I love you Star."

"I love you too, more than anything."

"And that's all that matters to me. Don't ever forget me. Please promise me that you won't forget."

"Of course I won't. That would be impossible." I gave him a smile, probably the smallest one I have ever given anyone.

"Goodbye," and with that he was gone. All I could do was cry. I stayed there until I gained enough strength to carry him back and tell everyone what had happened.

* * *

1 month after he was gone, I made my first visit to his grave. It was very difficult but the words came easy, though a bit mixed up. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop him. I wish I could have saved you. You mean the world to me. I miss you so much. I can't stand being without you. I'm leaving Earth today, but I can't go back to Tameran, so I'm just going to wonder around in space and see where I end up. I'll come and visit you as often as I can build up enough strength and courage to pace this planet again. I love you so much, and I don't know how much longer I'll last, but I'm trying, just like I promised. The ream has broken up. We couldn't function without you. It's weird, when you were Slade's apprentice, we managed. It was tough, but we managed. But now that we know you will be gone forever, and no one has even a spark of hope left, it simply wasn't possible. We barely survived a month.

All of us miss you. There are not words to describe how much we miss you, how much I miss you. It's time for me to go now. I can't stand another moment on this planet. I wish I could see you again. Just one last time but—

Goodbye." I wispered as I walked away.

* * *

So, what'd you think? I'd really like to know so if you would be so kind as to leave a review, it will be greatly appreciated, even if it is only one word, lol.

Also, I am thinking about MAYBE writing a sequal typ thing to this, but I'm not sure yet so let me know what you think about that idea!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story, I really appreciate it.

Love,

--shattered-hearts--


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